A mother's diary!

Okay, I know I broke my New year resolution and didn’t try to keep up with it even once! The cliché ‘Resolutions are meant to be broken’ probably might have saved the day for me, if only I didn’t feel so guilty about breaking it. It’s not that I didn’t want to write but the lack of time and energy prevented me from achieving my resolution. I could have managed the time factor if needed but the energy factor became a deterrent. After running behind my little terror, who is all of nine months now and is a powerhouse of energy, all day round consumes all my stored energy of the day not leaving much for the rest of things I would want or like to do. Like opening my laptop has also become a once-a-week affair. For those who don’t know me personally, let me enlighten you with this simple but significant detail which is extremely crucial to understand its gigantic role in my life, to comprehend that it is a big deal for someone like me who used to survive on it on a daily basis pre-pregnancy, and I mean literally. It was like a constant companion who did everything I asked it to do, like a genie of sorts. If I felt blue it would sing and dance for me, if I got bored it would show me funny movies to make me laugh, if I got lonely it would create virtual friends for me to talk to, if I wanted to buy something it would become my shopping mall, if I wanted to try a new recipe it would become my master-chef, and if I wanted to learn or discover something new it would become my tutor for free. So basically, it meant that I could live without my husband for a day but not my laptop, you see!

Now that you understand this very important fact let me phrase that line again. "Like opening my laptop has also become a once-a-week affair." Ahh see, now you can imagine my anguish behind this simple line written with a heavy heart. Yeah I know it is as poignant as it sounds but as they say first things first and these days nothing comes first before my little munchkin, who is mind you a mini whirlwind which leaves you bushed at the end of the day. And this, after all the help from my in-laws for taking care of the little one. So whenever I find a little time for myself all I want to do is lie down and take a breather doing absolutely nothing at all. I wonder how would I have managed all by myself had we been living alone. I guess I would have been at my wits end by now if that were the case. Seriously, joint families are a boon in this situation and I feel glad that we came back at a time perfect for living in a joint family. It still amazes me how people, who live alone as a couple, manage to stay sane while raising these little extensions of yourself who outsmart you in every possible way and makes you dance on their cute little fingers like a puppet! Oh yes, they do. And how, Picture this. Like any good mother, I want to feed my little one with all kinds of healthy and nutritional food. So after all the effort of preparing something which provides the necessary nutrients for a healthy growth, she just doesn’t want to eat it. So again, we try all kinds of silly things like dance like a monkey, make up some weirdest stories you have ever heard, make funny faces and some more to distract her just so that a few morsels find a way down to her tiny yet hungry tummy. Phew! If you think it ends there, think again. Bathing is yet another example. How do you bathe a nine month old who just doesn’t want to sit and yet can’t stand on her feet without support? Yeah, so you need two people so that one can hold her and the other bathes her. Well, not as easy as it sounds but still manageable. But putting on clothes after the bath is what is more challenging than bathing her. Now that she has started crawling she doesn’t stay put even for a second. So I have to literally run around to put on her clothes and get her ready. Bahh! Even when she wakes up from her sleep, the moment she opens her eyes the next one she has started crawling as if she would miss her school bus if she waits for another more moment. I wonder what she’ll do when she starts walking. Or rather, I dread. And with such huge families on both sides – dada-dadi, nana-nani, kaka-kaki, mama-mami and extended family – everyone spoiling and pampering her to the fullest, she’s turning to become a spoilt brat already. She starts throwing tantrums the minute something doesn’t happen according to her liking and she makes it loud and clear to everyone around. Its hard to believe that she’s the same person when she’s sleeping. Then she looks oh-so-angelic and peaceful, so unlike her actual self. Restless little devil would aptly describe her. And you need to be a saint to glide through the day without losing your patience and temper once. All the promises that I made to myself, whilst I was a kid, of not scolding and yelling at my kids like our parents did with us to discipline us, went right down the drain as soon as I became a mother. I thought there was a better approach than that but I was so wrong. I finally realize now that what our parents did then was right which eventually has made us better persons today. Now that’s another story that I cant do without this little devil and if she’s not around then all I can think of is her. But as much as I love her, a part of me craves for the ‘me’ time where I can actually do things I would like to do rather than just think about doing them while lying on the bed! Hmmph! Someday. Soon.
 

Well, probably this is my longest post so far and there are yet some stories of the little terror that are still unwritten. Maybe I ll need to write a sequel to this post. Or maybe I just need to create a diary for her mischief’s and naughtiness and years later should probably read it out to my grandchildren and tell them stories of their mother’s antics!