A shitty affair!

People, I’m delighted to announce to you all that after one (or was it more?) year of rigorous training from the most apparent source I’m finally, how do I put it.. umm, in ‘motion’. Plainly put, I’m potty-trained finally at three years of age. Well, almost. Big deal you would think, right? Exactly my point. But who would dare to enlighten that to my feisty trainer, my mom. Yeah, she thinks she climbed mount everest (for some reasons only known to her she thinks mt. everest would have been easier to climb compared to potty train me, now can you believe that?! Neither do I.) and is as elated as if she has won a medal for it.  I mean, grow up mom! No need to make a big deal out of it, right? Everyone gets potty trained by this age so what’s the deal breaker here, is something beyond me. Ok, maybe apart from a few minor glitches. Alright a little more than that. I admit it wasn’t an easy road to reach where we are today. To be honest, it was one ‘shitty’ affair. All the timeouts, punishments, yelling, screaming, bribing, rewarding failed to achieve one tiny goal. She did everything she could think of to make it work but I adamantly refused to give in so easily. Whoa! Quite headstrong, huh, ain’t I? Now, that I think of it I did actually make it really hard for her. Poor mom. But in my defense, I was young and aggressive. And stubborn. And a rebel. Oh and did I mention temperamental.. No? How could I have missed that.. Damn it! Oops, sorry here I go again. You know, I can throw a tantrum at the drop of a hat. Oh you do, right. You just saw me losing it huh. *Sheepish grin*. But that’s me and mothers are made to handle such behaviour elegantly without losing their cool. Aren’t they? That’s how they pass their mommy test and God decides to make them a MOM in the first place. Right? So why does my mom have to make a fuss about it? Why can’t she accept me the way I am and why does she expect me to behave in a ‘normal’ manner all the time and put all my ‘shit’ to where it belongs! Literally. After all, mankind invented such a wonderful creation just for our benefit. Diapers! So why not make a good and productive use of it instead of completely eradicating them from our life after a certain point. Why to take the extra effort of going to the loo and excreting when I can do the same in the comfort zone of my diaper! Ahh..Pure bliss! Why do we need to get rid of the diapers after a certain age when I can make good use of it all my life! Admit it..It does sound quite tempting..doesn’t it? Seriously, these grown up don’t know any shit. Sigh. I sometimes feel, Moms come with an instruction manual from the God, and we are the products who have to abide by those rules or else it becomes worthless. And we, poor little souls, have to bear the brunt of the fierce competition between the mommies, as if in a rat race, who display us like their products that are in sync with ‘motion’ thereby exhibiting perfection in execution of rules. Which ultimately puts high pressure on us to perform well. Sucks, right? If only the world could be lead according to our way of life …it would be a lot happier, a stress free and a manual free world, I bet. Alas!