A Mother's letter - V

My dear daughter, 

Congratulations! We’ve a new milestone to write about. You just completed five years since you popped out from me. Yay! Five going on fifteen. Oh yes. I won’t have to wait anymore to see how your teenage years are going to impact me as a parent. Nope. Coz, I’m the lucky one to experience it already even before you set your foot in pre pre-teens. I even shudder to think what’s in store for me when you actually enter your teens. I swear I don’t ever recall throwing such attitude, sass, style, drama or the vocabulary even after my teenage years, that you do at this tender age of five! It would have been much easier to blame it on your genes but sadly I don’t have that advantage to do that. I feel like I was a complete nincompoop at that age compared to you. And hence, I’m really astonished by the feats you are achieving so early in life which took me years and yet haven’t managed to master. Not that I undermine your achievements, I definitely knew that you had it in you..I had no doubts about it, it’s just that I didn’t expect them so soon.

It all started as soon as you bade goodbye to your toddlerhood and entered your fifth year on your last birthday. I had just begun to feel happy and relieved that your terrible two syndrome is finally getting over only to realize that the pre-teen syndrome is gearing up our way and gaining speed way too fast. I wonder what’d next after this. Well, I’m sure I’ll find that out soon too but for now let me focus on how to deal with this phase patiently and with a smile on my face. Though I must admit it, I sometimes(the times when it’s not directed to me) admire your wit and sassiness and wish I had even the half of it at some point in my life. Aaah. There I said it. Also you won’t believe that I’ve noted down a few of your sassiest, funniest and wittiest conversations from the last year which I’m sure you will love reading about when you grow up.  Or maybe not. Only time will tell. So here it goes…

Me: So do you have any good manners?
You: Yes
Me : Ok tell me which one?
You : I’m good mannered as I don’t throw you out of the house
Me: What????
You : Yes I don’t. See that’s good manners
Me: **Speechless**Shocked**Stunned**

Candid conversation with your dadi while I was listening on
You : Why do you call your hubby as ‘tame’(in gujarati) ?
Dadi : Because he is elder to me
You : Then why does mama call papa as ‘Tu’ when he is elder to her.. like “(hubby’s name) tu su kare che”
Dadi and me looking at each other : **Totally Zapped**

 
We had some guests visiting us from your dad’s side. They were leaving the same day when your nani was coming to visit us. So we all were seated and talking before they left and they asked you : “So shall we stay back for some more days at your place?”
You : “ No, my nani is coming and then everyone will get mixed. So you have to leave now.”
Me : **Wishing the earth to open and swallow me right there and then**

 
You got a new study table on your last birthday and as we were done assembling it together the only thing left was the clock that came with it.
Me: Is it ok if we don’t put the clock on the table?
You : No! Then how would I know it’s time to sleep and I’ll keep studying all night!!!
Me: Oops…I didn’t think about it at all. **Trying hard to keep a straight face**

 
Me: What do u want to be when u grow up?
You (in a split second) : Fevicol
Me (Furious) : Huh??? Ridiculous! Who would want to become a fevicol?? Think before you speak. Who do u wanna stick to?
You: You mamma!
Me : Awwww…My baby! Muahh!

 
You: Mamma, where do babies come from?
Me : From the tummy.
You: Yes, but how do they come out from tummy?
Me : Well, you came out from my tummy through operation.
You (Starts crying) : Oh no! I don’t want to ever become a mamma, pls tell God to not give me a baby. I don’t want to be operated !
Me : Okay sweetie, I will tell Him. Now please stop crying.

 
Conversation between you and one of your aunts
Aunt : So shall I come to stay at your new house when it is ready?
You : But you already live in your new house
Aunt : But that has become old now. I want to stay in your new house.
You: Look Aunty, Everyone has to maintain their own house. You have to maintain your house so you cant come and live in my house.
Aunt was amused by your prompt reply and bursts out laughing.

 
Me : When I was a kid I never used to talk rudely with my parents.
You:  That was when you were a kid na, now I know you talk rudely with nani.
Me : when did u hear me talk rudely with nani?
You:  I’ve heard you calling her ‘tu’ instead of ‘tame’ now isn’t that rude. She is elder than you. Very bad mamma.
Me: **Clean bowled**

So now we want to have a baby but apparently without going through an operation or labour pain.
You: Mama, please tell God to give me a baby but not in the tummy, give it to me directly.
Me: Alright sweetie, will do.
You: But mama, how does a baby enter the stomach, it is closed na, then?
Me : I know baby, that’s God’s magic! But God’s magic works only after you are married. Not before that. (Just getting the basics right here :P)

 
You trying to explain me and manoafy me when I was angry on you for behaving badly.
You : Sorry mamma, I’m trying to change my behavior. I’m still learning and when u r learning it’s a mix behaviour..little good little bad. Please understand mamma.
Me : ** Thank you for enlightening me sweetheart **

 
So we often blame it on our brain when things don’t go according to our desire rather when we don’t want to try hard enough.
ME : So why didn’t you tell your brain to stop you from peeing in the bed last night?
Pat comes the reply : I did mamma.. but it must be thinking something else while I peed in my sleep so what can I do in that. It doesn’t follow my instruction.
Me : **Yeah I’m not surprised dearie, its your brain after all! **

 
You love to dance on all the peppy songs of today. So one day while I was driving you to your class some old songs were playing on the radio.
You: Mamma, put on some new songs. I like new songs.
ME : Old songs are nice too .
You: Mamma, when I grow up these new songs will also become old then?
Me : Yes sweetie.
You: Oh no! I don’t want the songs to grow old
Me: ** Hmm.. now that’s a first. Any anti-ageing mantra for songs? **

 
These are just a few classics that makes me think that you are growing way too quickly for your age and makes me wonder is this the side-effect of eating too many almonds during my pregnancy?? Hmm.. and I’m sure I’ll be wondering that for many more years to come. Nonetheless, you know that any amount of sassiness from your side is not going to deter my love for you and you are smart enough to bank on that and know precisely how to work your charm on me. As always!

 
Love Always,
Mamma.

You’re sassy and spunky

With a style so funky

You’re messy and bratty

With a mind so witty

You’re loud and silly,

With a heart so lovely

 

With eyes so innocent and heart so pure

I feel immensely proud to be your mom

In my eyes, you’re a definition

Of perfection and beauty

And I love you for who you are

And not for what you say or do.

 

In spite of my constant yelling,

Always know that you are a blessing

Which I’m grateful for everyday

And can’t thank God enough for!