A heartfelt ode..

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Diwali. Is a vibe. A vibe of happiness, a vibe of positivity, a vibe of celebration,  a vibe of togetherness,  a vibe of life and love! It is that time of the year when everything around you gives you a vibe of the festive spirit and zeal. Love every bit of it(except for the ear splitting firecrackers) starting from the Diwali cleaning of house to decorating the house, making homemade sweets and snacks, making colorful rangolis, illuminating the house with diyas and lights and celebrating the festival together with family! No matter what state of mind I'm in prior to Diwali, it always managed to drag me in its joyous and festive vibe! But this time it failed to. There was no enthusiasm around it. No festive vibes. It was rather the darkest Diwali of my life, blowing away one precious light of my life which shone brightly upon me with love and blessings in abundance. My sweetheart.. my nani! 
I lost her two days before Diwali. For fifteen long days, her soul courageously fought the battle in the hospital with all the strength but ultimately lost the battle when her body gave up on her. It was hard for us to see her going through all the pain and suffering that she had been enduring in those fifteen days. Still coming to terms with the fact that she is no more with us and has left for a journey beyond the boundaries of this universe. 
For me, she was the epitome of love and life! Her laughter still rings loud and clear in my ears. I can still feel the warmth of her arms around me. Her eyes always brimmed with love and joy seeing her children and grandchildren around. Inspite of her unbearable back pain since last few years I have never heard her complaining about it, she was always so full of life and positivity. I have always been attached to my nani the most, since my childhood, so this has been the biggest blow for me and sometimes it all feels like a nightmare from which I shall wake up and she will be right there smiling with open arms to engulf me in her warm embrace. Oh! How i wish this to be true.. Alas! With a sad and heavy heart learning to accept the fact that life has to move on.. without the person who meant the world to you.
Life goes on but it won't be the same. Every celebration, every family gathering, every family holidays will always be incomplete without her physical presence. Though she will always be with me in my heart and my memories. I just hope she is in a better place, reunited with her lost love..my nana!

My humble attempt to pour my wave of emotions in a small heartfelt poem in her loving memory...
An epitome of love and life
A lovable (grand)mother and a wife
Your gentle loving smile
Made our life worthwhile
But you left us heart broken
With so many words unspoken
A feeling of emptiness sweeps upon
As without you life goes on
Always be my guiding light
Shining forever bright
Holding my hand whenever
My feet falter
I wish I could be even half of
What you were made of
You are my hardest goodbye ever
And I will forget you never!

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